The most common type of adoption with which lawyers are asked to assist are step-parent adoptions, arising when the custodial parent of children from a previous relationship remarries, and the step-parent wishes to adopt the children as their own. The largest stumbling block to such an adoption is usually obtaining the consent of the non-custodial parent. Although not required for the adoption to be accomplished, without it, one must prove that the non-custodial parent has abandoned the children. For example, that parent has not seen or talked to the children for a period of years, does not pay support, does not send presents at Christmas and birthdays, and in not involved with the children at all, or only to a minimal extent. These are factors to be considered by the court. It is not necessary for all the factors to be present, but it must be clear that the other parent has abandoned the children. When you call to talk about adoption, the first thing we will ask you is whether you have talked to the other parent, and whether that parent is willing to consent. I have talked to the other parent and they agree, now what? If the non-custodial parent consents, then the matter is fairly routine. We will make an appointment for you to come in and start the process. Part of the process involves sending the other parent a consent form to sign and return, which must be filed with the petition. I have talked to the other parent and they do not agree, now what? Without the consent of the other parent there must be a trial to prove that the other parent has abandoned the children. This may be fairly complex, with several witnesses. The outcome is at the reasonable discretion of the judge. Obviously, the latter is much more expensive and time consuming. The other parent does not agree, but has not abandoned the children, can there be an adoption anyway? No. If the other parent has not abandoned the children, and does not consent, then there will be no adoption. I haven't heard from the other parent for years, and I don't know where he or she is, can there still be an adoption? Maybe. The other parent must be served, and you will need to make a reasonable effort to find the other parent. This means contacting his or her friends and family to try to locate him or her, or doing other things that you believe may lead to finding them. You will need to sign an affidavit stating what you did to find them. You don't need to go to the ends of the Earth, but your efforts must be sufficient to convince the judge that you made a reasonable effort. The judge will then allow us to use an alternate means of service designed to give the other parent actual notice. |
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